Do you listen to Phil Collins? Do you have a loud sneeze? Have you ever put your washing machine on in the morning? – If you answered yes to any of these questions then you could be the topic of a very angry Mumsnet thread.
“I’m reminded of a horror film called “The Purge” where one night a year you are allowed to kill people. Neighbours would be top of my list.” – Angry Mumsnet Member
Mumsnet is a hub for parents seeking advice, community and, most importantly, a place to vent their woes – and neighbour noise complaints are a very hot and heated topic.
Here at Soundproofing R Us, we know just how annoying noisy neighbours can be. This is why we wanted to find out exactly which sounds have been making mums the most furious this year.
One by one, we trawled through every post that has been made in 2021 concerning noisy next-door neighbours and recorded the reason behind each complaint.
From 9.30 pm being too late to make noise to 9 am being too early to do chores, the results of the study certainly raise some controversial opinions – for most people, it’s definitely time to invest in some soundproofing installations.
Ironically, a whopping 24% of noise complaints from mums were about their neighbour’s kids being too loud. And interestingly, the data would suggest that mums would rather hear their neighbours having sex than talking.
Here you can see exactly how this year’s Mumsnet noise complaints are apportioned, alongside some real anonymous quotes from the angry mums themselves.
“Next doors toddler talks constantly in the garden so its just a constant stream of nonsense loud chatter coming from the garden next door. I wish they would just ignore her or tell her to be quiet.”
“It’s just pointless daft shrieking as far as I can tell.”
“I understand their kids are bored but come on – a party!? I’m dumbfounded.”
“The 2 year old has a ball that it bounces, but god knows what it’s made of because it shakes my floor, and there’s a flat between us.”
“I shouted at neighbours last summer, I don’t know who they were because they are on the estate that backs on mine, about playing Ed bloody Sheeran full blast. I really, really hate Ed Sheeran.”
“Having my mind done in by fragments of disco beats being repeated on highest volume until it makes you physically sick, like the worst sort of an ear slug imaginable.”
“Whoever is playing Phil Collins, turn it OFF. And get some musical taste – DH (dear husband) said that people who play Phil Collins don’t deserve respect.”
“It’s the height of rudeness to have music blaring in the garden knowing full well others around can hear it too? It’s Christian easy listening type of music. Tempted to put a bit of Motörhead on the Sonos, but that would be a bit passive aggressive.”
“My son wakes up at 6am every morning due to the puppy being let out – previously he slept till 8am. He can’t sleep either and keeps pretending to bark or saying ‘doggy’.”
“I have tried talking to the dog in a friendly fashion but it just carries on barking – I have no idea how to get this dog to shush.”
“When she is on the telephone which is frequent she has got one of the loudest voices in the world!”
“He does noisy DIY at least once a week (unless he’s dismembering bodies – which I don’t completely discount)”.
“He’s drilling/hammering/sawing until 9:30 some nights!”
“Woman in next block with an old fashioned push mower. Drives me insane! Bloody noise is so annoying! Im sure she measures the length of the grass 🙄 she mows it 3 or 4 times a weeks.”
“My neanderthal neighbour has just come in and it sounds like a fucking explosion. It’s like living next door to The Incredible Hulk. His girlfriend must come home and wearily start sweeping up the tattered remnants of her furniture and crockery after he’s been smashing it up all day. “
“Now she seems to be constantly angry, and trying to be annoying. She’s started playing music loudly or banging things if we are outside (literally banging a piece of wood).”
“Over the last week, NDNs (next-door neighbours) have been having such noisy sex that the wardrobes in the bedroom are shaking. She’s a screamer, and she then wakes her own baby which starts screaming too! Last night, they sh**ged and screamed til the baby woke up, got it back to sleep, then sh**ged til it woke up screaming again!”
“At the moment it’s every Sunday from 7pm-11pm (I know it’s quite a marathon). And usually during the night/early morning on Monday .My friends and I are convinced he’s on viagra. I retaliated this morning (wrongly I know but I was exhausted) by playing Avici.”
“Am I being unreasonable to ask my neighbours to fix their squeaky bed? Should I just wear ear plugs and put up with it or do you think it’s reasonable to send them a message asking if they can sort the squeak in the bed?”
“Every night he wakes me up parallel parking outside the house.”
“My neighbour has a really noisy car. He usually leaves for work at around 6.15 and wakes us all up then.”
“Since 9am this morning, it sounds like a Chinook helicopter is landing on my bedroom ceiling.”
“Our neighbours started using their washing machine/tumble dryer overnight!”
“Men being loud, like unnecessarily loud when yawning and things, screaming when sneezing ect. I genuinely don’t understand it.”
“Really noisy lots of cackling about nothing, blokes being loud!”
“Am I being unreasonable to ask my neighbour to not put her bin out at 11pm because it’s noisy as f**k and wakes me up.”
“We can hear them cough but she exaggerates her sneezing so it’s heard even over the top of our TV!”
“I’d be happy if they muted the chimes unless they were out there. It’s been stormy, so they’re going mad.”
If your neighbours are driving you mad with their windchimes and washing machines then get in touch and we’ll help you come up with a soundproofing solution that doesn’t involve Mumsnet!